Dream analysis anyone?

[siercia]

So, there was this kid I grew up with, lived a couple doors down from my family... two years older, a heck of a lot bigger than me, and a bully. And I was a favorite target. I won't bore you with the details. Suffice it to say that he was a significant enough terror of my childhood and teenage years (which were far the worst) that he (and the fear/anger/humiliation that he represents in my psyche) have haunted my dreams long into adulthood, despite my having not seen him in well over 10 years. If I have my own personal bogeyman, he's it. As such, I've grown quite used to him playing a starring role in my nightmares, which have slowly grown further and further apart. When I'd have them, they'd rattle my waking self badly, sometimes for days.

Lately though, I've been having a somewhat recurring dream where he shows up, and we're friends. The dreams are different.... In one I'm scared, but he gradually wins my trust, in another, it's a social setting where I have to be polite, and he's genuinely nice... sometimes we talk about our history, sometimes not at all, or only reminiscences of childhood. And we end up friends.

And I just wake up perplexed, trying to figure out what on earth it means. imagine77 gave me some ideas last week, but I'm opening it up for further debate. Any thoughts?

Comments

Dr. Jude says:

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

What do /you/ think it means? :)

(Dr. Jude sucks like that. Aren't you glad she's not your therapist?)

Re: Dr. Jude says:

[siercia]

*laugh* There's a reason I've never gone to a therapist in my life. It has something to do with the difficulty of hiding the bodies.

I don't honestly know. I thought I'd made what peace Icould with this a long time ago, but maybe I haven't. Or this is my subconscious putting its pieces to rest as well. Or he's a symbol for generalized anxiety, and my brain is dealing with something completely unrelated (Imagy's thory). But I don't know.

Heck, it could even be a response to seeing his kid brother on classmates.com recently. Which shook the daytime me badly... since I'm listed by my maiden name there, it would be one of few ways I could be tracked down. (this being one of the few perks of changing my name - I kinda dropped out of view for folks I never want to see again). It sounds stupid, but bits of me are still afraid he' try to cause trouble in my life, were it easy enough. Maybe this is my brain trying to tell me how stupid I am to fear that.

I just don't know.

Re: Dr. Jude says:

[scirocco.livejournal.com]

[Heck, it could even be a response to seeing his kid brother on classmates.com recently. Which shook the daytime me badly... since I'm listed by my maiden name there, it would be one of few ways I could be tracked down. (this being one of the few perks of changing my name - I kinda dropped out of view for folks I never want to see again). It sounds stupid, but bits of me are still afraid he' try to cause trouble in my life, were it easy enough. Maybe this is my brain trying to tell me how stupid I am to fear that.]

You've got one of those husband things, remember, to get rid of guys like this for you.... Hello? Husband over here.... *waves arms*

Re: Dr. Jude says:

[asmodel.livejournal.com]

Generally dreams reflect what is in your subconscious, so whatever it is that you think it means, is probably right.

Re: Dr. Jude says:

[siercia]

Well, we're not exactly talking about the world of rational fears here, sweetie. In the real world, there's nothing to be afraid of, either.

Re: Dr. Jude says:

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't believe that dreams have certain meanings. Like all other things that bring up feelings in us, they're only as good as the attributions we give to them.

In this dream where the two of you were friends, did you wake up with the terror you usually encounter when you've had other dreams of him?

Re: Dr. Jude says:

[siercia]

No, no real terror. Just a lot of puzzlement and "what the hell was that" kind of feeling. No real sense of peace or acceptance or happiness either.

Re: Dr. Jude says:

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Innnnnnnnnnteresting.

You're supposed to be dreaming about ME!

Re: Dr. Jude says:

[siercia]

Well, I wouldn't exactly be sharing *those* dreams in a public forum, now would I? Sheesh. Silly girl.

Re: Dr. Jude says:

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oops. My bad. =P

[prunesnprisms.livejournal.com]

Well, here's my 2c..
I think our minds make up symbols for our stress, and this guy is yours because of association with stress and fear when you were small.
But also I think that since you're a mom now, and have to be able to handle your own stuff in addition to that of another small person, that your mind is trying to say that it's come to grips with some of its own irrationality, because you've surmounted so many other hard-to-grasp things in the last year and a half, and it knows you have other things to focus on.
Just an idea.