Argh

[siercia]

So, I'm supposed to host bookclub this weekend. Normally, this isn't a problem; I like to cook, I like having people over, it's all good. This time, though, I'm going out of my mind. Among the five people in our group, we have three people who are dieting, one former vegetarian who now eats fish, one person who doesn't like fish all that much, one who hates long skinny pasta, another who dislikes most bite-sized pastas, one who won't eat eggs. About the only thing that could make this worst would be if we had an Atkin's Diet dieter in our midst. In the past, I probably would have made a big vegetarian lasagna, or maybe Macaroni and Cheese andbeen done with it, but that won't work at all for the dieters.

Add in that I'm not going to be home for most of the day on both Saturday and Sunday, and you realize that this is a total mess. I've been looking on CookingLight.com and Epicurious.com hoping to find something interesting, but I haven't found very much. Part of the problem, I think, is that I'm just feeling blah this week, due to stress and lack of sleep, and so I'm finding it hard to work up very much motivation for anything. Part of it is the weather; I don't want to commit to a big hot soup if it's going to be warm on Sunday, not do I want to commit to summer-y fare if it's going to be rainy and blustery like today. Part of it too, is that this is stretching me so far past my normal entertaining "safe zones" that I feel like I'm walking this little tiny high wire, very high off the ground, in a high breeze, and I simply don't like it.

And further adding to the stress is knowing just how critical some of my friends can be. I know, I've been a part of the catty snipe about other people sessions. It's really one person in particular; she always knows what's "proper" and judges people rather harshly by how well they live up to those standards. While she'd never say anything to my face, I always feel this incredible pressure to live up to her WASP-y, Martha Stewart-esque expectations. I always feel like I'm falling short, which makes me try harder, which probably means I fail more in the long run, because then I'm the annoying puppy-dog host, jumping all over everyone making sure they are having a good enough time.

This has been a week for feeling like I'm not living up to expectations again. I think it happens whenever I feel over-committed, which I do right now. Work has got me chasing my tail a bunch. I'm trying very hard to be a good employee, and at least pull my weight here, which included agreeing to go to Tampa next weekend, to do an overnight SQL upgrade, taking time away from my family. Home just generally makes me feel guilty - I was away two weekends ago, will be leaving Miss Widget with friends for about 24 hours this weekend, and I'll be gone next weekend as well now. I feel like I should be around more; like I'm short-changing Widget to be dropping in and out of her presence constantly, and shortchanging Wiley too, putting too much of a burden on him in terms of housework and childcare. And I miss my friends. I used to have so much more time to devote to them, and they constantly get the shortest end of this stick. They're all incredibly supportive and understanding. I miss them terribly, but I have to steal time from home to see them and that doesn't work very well. Miss Shani always says "You can't be important everywhere", and she's right. I don't want to be important, I have no need to be "the best" at anything. I'd just like to feel competent at them without feeling like I'm being pulled apart at the seams.

Comments

[siercia]

I sat down with one of the girls tonight with some cookbooks, and we found some recipe contenders. I'm feeling much better now. I've done the "salad bar" where I put the greens together, then leave out all the toppings for people to pick and choose before with a similar group, and it's worked well. I'm hoping to find something a little nicer for this gathering. I hope.

[thatpatti.livejournal.com]

i heard an editorial piece on NPR about just this very thing. i'm personally on weight watchers, but unless i am allergic to, morally against, or absoultely disgusted by something, i am going to eat whatever my host makes with gratitude and a smile. they can drink water if they don't like it. ;)

Re:

[siercia]

I'm doing Weight Watchers as well; I would still generally eat what was put in front of me. And don't get me wrong, all of these friends would also do that.

But they're good enough friends that I know their preferences, and I'd like to meet them if I can. The logical side of my brain knows this is me trying to live up to expectations I'm projecting onto them rather than "real" expectations, but somehow that's not helping my stress level.

[prunesnprisms.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, you know if I will eat cucumber-cilantro soup with a smile, I will eat any kind of bite-sized pasta you want me to. ;)

[siercia]

I know you will, hon.

But then I'd feel like a bad hostess. =)

[reebert.livejournal.com]

An idea for the dinner might be to cook up two different kinds of pastas and have 3 different sauces (white sauce, meat sauce, veggie sauce) and the olive oil/parmesan cheese option. I have a REALLY nice (and easy) recipe for a vegetarian sauce made from chickpeas. It's also nice for dieters. Let me know if you'd like it. :)

Re:

[siercia]

I'd love it, if you don't mind!

Food suggestions

[quiltlover.livejournal.com]

I find that in this type of circumstance, it's best to stick with some tried and true favorites like raw veggies and dip. Those that want the dip can partake while those that don't can abstain. Similarly with the meal. You could make one dish that has meat or poultry as long as you have some others that would appeal to the vegetarian. How about felafel with a little yogurt sauce and pita bread? There are some mixes out there that are perfectly delicious. You can "fry" it in a pan with cooking spray. Or maybe a vegetarian chili served with plain rice? (I could send you a wonderful and easy recipe if you like). I made some roasted vegetables (http://christmas.allrecipes.com/az/roastedvegetables.asp) recently that were really easy and really delicious and defintely autumn type food.

And screw it if your friends are critical! The point of having friends over is to spend time with them. It's about the people - not the food, not how clean your house is. If they can't get over it then they aren't really your friends, are they?

[asmodel.livejournal.com]

For low fat, vegetarian meal, you really can't go past Asian in my eyes. Cook up a big batch of rice or noodles, then have some stir-fried veggies, steamed greens, tofu, maybe some meat for the non-veggos, and some other bits and pieces lying about.