(no subject)
Oct. 8th, 2002 06:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
siercia"I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat"
- Anne Lamott Operating Instructions
Man, I laughed outloud when I read that line, because it is so true. When you decide to have a child, I don't think there is anything that can prepare you for what it will be like. It can't even be explained, even if I wanted to try.
I recently read a different book, called "The mask of Motherhood", all about how motherhood changes us, and how and why mothers (and fathers too, I suppose) feel the overwhelming need to put a happy face on things constantly, and continue to keep up this facade that children don't disrupt our lives entirely, that kids are just one more accoutrement that you can drag along behind you wherever you go and ignore when it suits you.
I think it's because a. even if we could explain it, no one without kids would believe it, and they certainly wouldn't believe us when we said it was worth it, and b. because when you do let the mask slip; admit you yelled at your kid, or feel pulled in 16 different directions, or even complain about motherhood without automatically prefacing it with "My kid means the world to me, but...", people look at you like you're insane, like you must be a horrible mother. The fewer people who allow the mask to slip, the more those who do look insane or horrible, and it becomes a giant spiral of pretense that becomes even harder to break free from.
But, yeah, I did think it would be more like getting a cat.
- Anne Lamott Operating Instructions
Man, I laughed outloud when I read that line, because it is so true. When you decide to have a child, I don't think there is anything that can prepare you for what it will be like. It can't even be explained, even if I wanted to try.
I recently read a different book, called "The mask of Motherhood", all about how motherhood changes us, and how and why mothers (and fathers too, I suppose) feel the overwhelming need to put a happy face on things constantly, and continue to keep up this facade that children don't disrupt our lives entirely, that kids are just one more accoutrement that you can drag along behind you wherever you go and ignore when it suits you.
I think it's because a. even if we could explain it, no one without kids would believe it, and they certainly wouldn't believe us when we said it was worth it, and b. because when you do let the mask slip; admit you yelled at your kid, or feel pulled in 16 different directions, or even complain about motherhood without automatically prefacing it with "My kid means the world to me, but...", people look at you like you're insane, like you must be a horrible mother. The fewer people who allow the mask to slip, the more those who do look insane or horrible, and it becomes a giant spiral of pretense that becomes even harder to break free from.
But, yeah, I did think it would be more like getting a cat.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
book
Date: 2002-10-08 03:53 pm (UTC)Re: book
Date: 2002-10-08 07:57 pm (UTC)There were bits that made me cranky, but overall, I think it was worth it. I'd love to discuss it with you if you decide to pick it up.
Review complete
Date: 2002-10-08 03:57 pm (UTC)Thank you for allowing me inside your life. I enjoyed reading your LJ very much. Your review has been posted tonight to
Re: Review complete
Date: 2002-10-08 07:54 pm (UTC)Re: Review complete
Date: 2002-10-10 10:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2002-10-08 07:51 pm (UTC)And I can so completely relate to her alter ego, and the duality of her personality. I swear, it could be me.
(no subject)
Date: 2002-10-08 05:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2002-10-08 07:53 pm (UTC)