I'm not sure how I feel about this.

I am BERT.

I'm a braniac, braniac on the floor!


Which Sesame Street Character Are You?"

I am

so tired. Not physically tired, but just completely emotionally drained. I'm so angry, and I can nothing about wither thing that's making me feel that way, So I feel angry AND powerless, and that just wipes me out completely.

This mess with Sketch is so stupid. But, he's a wizard, so there's not much I can do. It doesn't seem to matter that I've spent the last year or more, just staying out of his way, doing my best not to offend. Even when he supposedly wasn't a wizard anymore, I kept my head down, and my mouth shut, just to be safe. The other wizards keep saying to trust them, that they're working things out. And, whether I do or not (and I do), I don't have a lot of choice. I understand why there needs to be solidarity among the wizards, it's the same way with parenting - so players can't use a friendship with one wizard against another, or play them off of each other, or whatever. But I am so frustrated I could scream. I hate having my "fate" in someone else's hands.

And then I find out this morning that some skanky guy fucked with one of my friends yesterday. Suffice it to say, there is NO WAY to make me angrier. I'm angry for her, for myself, for every woman who's ever had to deal with asshole men who think we're their's for the taking. And it hurts, because it reminds me where I came from, and that's stuff I'd give anything to forget. It makes me want to simultaneously curl up in a ball under my bed, hug her tighter than she's ever been hugged while making it all better, and go on an avenging killing spree, just me and my baseball bat. Needless to say, it makes for an emotionally exhausting morning.

And now I'm fixed on TIM. At least one thing is better.

I should do something

Like work maybe. I have a few new jobs, but none of them appeal to me right now. Did they ever? I volunteered for them, I should theoretically like them. But I'm feeling lazy, and wrung out, and I just want to vegetate, really. I've got The Red Tent here, returned by Arwen. Maybe I should just read. At least that would be productive, albeit not for work.

On a good note...

I got Wiley a (I hope) cool and romantic Valentine's Day present.

More cute Widget tricks

She loves looking at herself in the bathroom mirror. So, to entertain her while Daddy was fixing her goodnight bottle, I held her in front of the mirror. And we were playing and making faces, and then I turned out the light. There was enough light from the hall that she could still see, and I could see her face, and she got the most amazing look of surprise and concentration on her face. It was beautiful She wasn't quite scared, but she was concerned. And I flipped the ligth on and off again and again, and she did the same thing every time. She couldn't quite figure it out, but it was weeeeeird to her. It was amazing.