And what a week it was, Pt. Two
Dec. 9th, 2001 07:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sierciaFamily
The entire purpose of our trip was to go out and visit my grandfather. He's 87, in ailing health, and moved to Tucson years and years ago when he remarried after my grandmother died. He and Peggy have been married for about 14 years, and I'd guess that when he decided to move to Tucson, he didn't think about what would happen if he ended up too weak or ill to travel to see his family. I hadn't seen him since the fall of 1997, which is the last time he'd flown east.
And he's really not doing well now. He's frail, and has trouble getting around, and has been diagnosed with mild dementia. I don't really know what that means, but I'm not sure that he even realized who I was when we were visiting. He kept calling me by my Mom's name, even though (or maybe because) he knew who my father was. On one hand, it makes sense. He hasn't really seen me since I was a kid, so this adult woman with a baby appearing with my Dad must be my Mom, right? On the other hand, it made me sad. I kept putting off going to see him - It was too expensive, I didn't have enough vacation time, blah blah, blah. And then I finally do get there, and it's as if it was too late. But I'm trying to keep my spirits up by telling myself that at least I made it there at all.
And if he didn't know who I was, I don't know how clearly he realized who Widget was either. He certainly seemed to like her though - seeing her brought big smiles to his face, and he kept sitting up to get a closer look at her. She was, in fact, a huge hit with all the residents of his nursing home (all 7 or so of them). All the other patients are women, and they sure did love seeing the baby, which made my heart glad. It was sad - except for one other patient, the only day we saw any visitors was Sunday, and even then, there were only a few family members there.
Staying with Peggy was a little strange. I wasn't sure what to expect - this was a second marriage for both of them, and she had her own family, so she never really became a "part" of ours. When we got there, she was out, and had left us a key. I saw a note that seemed to indicate she was going to be staying at a hotel for the time we were staying with her. I was really worried that there was going to be some weirdness. But she was very pleasant about it, explaining that the place was owned by some friends, and she didn't want us to be crowed, etc. I still felt bad about sending her out of her own home, but it wasn't too weird. And when we did see her, we all got along really well. She too, thought that Widget was a doll.
And of course, there was the trip to Roswell to visit the Mom-in-law, too. That was quite a trip. About a 7 1/2 hour drive (very fun with a 7 month old who hates her car seat), through beautiful country. Kate was SO happy to see Widget though. She's had a hard year, and having us visit really seemed to brighten her up. She has a beautiful house. It's an unassuming bungalow in a residential neighborhood, but she's done a great deal to decorate the interior beautifully. She's a Martha devotee, and it shows. But, at the same time, she's kept everything in keeping with her own taste, and she's wonderfully creative and talented, and has made the house her own. I simply adored it.
It was fun spending time with Kate without a Wiley filter as well. Normally, I only spend time with her with Wiley, and that changes how we all interact, in subtle ways, since, obviously, they have a lifetime of history together.
Watching both my Dad and Kate with the baby, I was reminded of just what a rank amateur I am when it comes to raising or taking care of babies. Even if my Dad did manage to put Widget's diaper on backwards on his first solo diapering effort, he knew ways to entertain her that I would never even have thought of. It's funny, too. If you had ever asked me whether my Dad was a good or a bad parent, I would have shrugged and said he was okay. Certainly not bad in any real sense, but not real involved or enthusiastic either. I don't know if it's because babies are what he likes best, or because he's a grandparent instead of a parent, but he was great with Widget. It's funny how easy it is to focus on the negative, especially when I'm thinking about my family, when there really was a great deal of positive as well. Something I'll need to work on.
The entire purpose of our trip was to go out and visit my grandfather. He's 87, in ailing health, and moved to Tucson years and years ago when he remarried after my grandmother died. He and Peggy have been married for about 14 years, and I'd guess that when he decided to move to Tucson, he didn't think about what would happen if he ended up too weak or ill to travel to see his family. I hadn't seen him since the fall of 1997, which is the last time he'd flown east.
And he's really not doing well now. He's frail, and has trouble getting around, and has been diagnosed with mild dementia. I don't really know what that means, but I'm not sure that he even realized who I was when we were visiting. He kept calling me by my Mom's name, even though (or maybe because) he knew who my father was. On one hand, it makes sense. He hasn't really seen me since I was a kid, so this adult woman with a baby appearing with my Dad must be my Mom, right? On the other hand, it made me sad. I kept putting off going to see him - It was too expensive, I didn't have enough vacation time, blah blah, blah. And then I finally do get there, and it's as if it was too late. But I'm trying to keep my spirits up by telling myself that at least I made it there at all.
And if he didn't know who I was, I don't know how clearly he realized who Widget was either. He certainly seemed to like her though - seeing her brought big smiles to his face, and he kept sitting up to get a closer look at her. She was, in fact, a huge hit with all the residents of his nursing home (all 7 or so of them). All the other patients are women, and they sure did love seeing the baby, which made my heart glad. It was sad - except for one other patient, the only day we saw any visitors was Sunday, and even then, there were only a few family members there.
Staying with Peggy was a little strange. I wasn't sure what to expect - this was a second marriage for both of them, and she had her own family, so she never really became a "part" of ours. When we got there, she was out, and had left us a key. I saw a note that seemed to indicate she was going to be staying at a hotel for the time we were staying with her. I was really worried that there was going to be some weirdness. But she was very pleasant about it, explaining that the place was owned by some friends, and she didn't want us to be crowed, etc. I still felt bad about sending her out of her own home, but it wasn't too weird. And when we did see her, we all got along really well. She too, thought that Widget was a doll.
And of course, there was the trip to Roswell to visit the Mom-in-law, too. That was quite a trip. About a 7 1/2 hour drive (very fun with a 7 month old who hates her car seat), through beautiful country. Kate was SO happy to see Widget though. She's had a hard year, and having us visit really seemed to brighten her up. She has a beautiful house. It's an unassuming bungalow in a residential neighborhood, but she's done a great deal to decorate the interior beautifully. She's a Martha devotee, and it shows. But, at the same time, she's kept everything in keeping with her own taste, and she's wonderfully creative and talented, and has made the house her own. I simply adored it.
It was fun spending time with Kate without a Wiley filter as well. Normally, I only spend time with her with Wiley, and that changes how we all interact, in subtle ways, since, obviously, they have a lifetime of history together.
Watching both my Dad and Kate with the baby, I was reminded of just what a rank amateur I am when it comes to raising or taking care of babies. Even if my Dad did manage to put Widget's diaper on backwards on his first solo diapering effort, he knew ways to entertain her that I would never even have thought of. It's funny, too. If you had ever asked me whether my Dad was a good or a bad parent, I would have shrugged and said he was okay. Certainly not bad in any real sense, but not real involved or enthusiastic either. I don't know if it's because babies are what he likes best, or because he's a grandparent instead of a parent, but he was great with Widget. It's funny how easy it is to focus on the negative, especially when I'm thinking about my family, when there really was a great deal of positive as well. Something I'll need to work on.
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Date: 2001-12-09 08:58 pm (UTC)Wiley Filter
Date: 2001-12-11 09:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-09-30 01:38 pm (UTC)